Hurt and Confused
by awakenstate09
Summary: Tina never screw a man, Jenny left Max after his BJ, this is a Jenny-Tina pairing and there is implied ShaneCarmen pairing...The history os season three through six with be changed..Hurt is from Aguilera and Saving Me is Nickelback. Bette is the villian
1. Chapter 1

_**Hurt and Confused**_

_**By**_

_**Awakenstate09**_

_**Part One**_

_**Author's note: Let's say that in Jenny fashion, she told Max to fuck off after he blew the club owner of season three. Then let's say Bette still in Washington as Tina came home and never was planning or had any urges to fuck a man..I'm going to re-write history….**_

_Jenny came home and bang her hand on the roof of her car. She knew right behind the toilet and underneath was…"Jenny." The blonde said and Jenny turned around, "You're okay." Tina said and Jenny responded, "I'm tired of this shit." Jenny just paused and Tina slowly walked to her then hugged her. Jenny cried a little bit, she let "Max" in and once again, she's left on the side of the road. _

"_He blew the owner with a strap-on." Tina said and Jenny responded, "Yep. He said that he wants to be a man and I'm like what the fuck, I mean yes I got off on his strap-on but you take it off." "Yeah." Tina said and Jenny was still in her world. "I can't believe she was, fuck! It! She was blowing him." Jenny said and Tina responded, "People have done worse." Tina got up and she checked on Angelica then Tina was in her sweats. This night was going to get interesting,_


	2. Chapter 2

_Hurt and Confused_

_By_

_Awakenstate09_

_Part Two_

_Jenny and Tina hadn't hung out one on one for a while. Jenny told her about the razors and being really fuck. "I'm not mad at Shane; it's just why couldn't she tell me?" Jenny said and Tina responded, "They should have, I mean…." Jenny lean in as she saw Tina pausing and asked, "What?" Tina then share something with her….._

"_**Have you ever had angry sex with someone and you would remind of the worst moment in your life?" Tina asked and Jenny lean in, "Tina." Tina turned to left and then straight. "When I told Bette I found out about the carpenter, I slapped her and it wasn't about…….I wanted to beat the shit of her. I was mad! All she wanted to do was ripped of my clothes and that's what he wanted to do when I was nineteen." Jenny dropped her mouth and Tina felt very awkward by telling her that. "Tina, you just admitted that you would rape and had hate-sex with Bette." Jenny said and Tina confirmed. "I hate her sometimes because I can't tell her. Do we always hurt the ones we love?" "I think they do." Jenny said and Tina responded, "I guess that's why we can't get married." They laugh.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_Hurt and Confused _

_By _

_Awakenstate09_

_Part Three_

_Jenny came over and brought a camera. Tina didn't know what Jenny had in mind and so she just told her to paused, Tina knew her objections would fall under deaf years. So she paused and Tina then played some background music in her mouth. Jenny laughed quietly as Tina was having fun taking off her jacket and then her pants. Jenny told her to stop and Tina held the camera. Jenny then did her little strip and was down to her bra and panties. Tina laughed and said, "You look…." Tina then notices the mark on Jenny's leg and she walked over it. She kneels down and it was the first time someone actually looked at it. Tina trace her finger on it and Jenny didn't know what to think. "I used a knife." Tina said and Jenny looked down, Tina looked up. "I made sure it was deep enough to just bleed and nothing else." Tina then showed her leg and showed her scar, Jenny then touched that and then Tina then pulled her hand between her legs. Jenny pulled it back and Tina was about to say, "I'm sorry." Jenny kissed Tina and they kissed so good then gradually. Tina grew her first smile and Jenny felt it as well. They kissed. "I'm so sorry." Jenny said and Tina responded, "Why?" "I want more." Jenny said and Tina responded, "Then kiss me." _


	4. Chapter 4

_Hurt and Confused_

_By _

_Awakenstate09_

_Part Four_

_Jenny and Tina was nineteen years old, it was innocence and they knew that when either of them opened there eyes or stop kissing. It was back to the real world, dam the real world. Just tonight just be two girls trying to put something sweet and innocence back where the pain should never have been. They stopped and Jenny looked up. "What are we going to do?" Jenny asked and Tina responded, "I don't want to fuck you." Jenny was a little insulted. "I'm good in bed." Jenny said and Tina responded, "No. I have Angelica." Jenny then retracted her statement and Tina responded, "I do want to fuck you." "I want to fuck you too." They laughed and kissed. "Are we doing this because…" Tina was about to asked and Jenny responded, "Don't think, Bette." "Do you see a stick up my ass?" Tina asked and Jenny laughed hard. _

_As Jenny left for the night and Tina had a smile on her face. Jenny walked in and turn on her computer…"She type out the title, Lez Girls….._

_Three years later, Tina was going to the prison as she was about to make her weekly visit and as she waited, she remembered that night. She also remembers every day and night after it. Then the chair squeezed back and she looked up to see Bette with an orange jump-suit serving her time for killing Jenny….._

_**Author's note:**_

_**Prepare for the biggest re-write in history from three through six….**_


	5. Chapter 5

_Hurt and Confused _

_By_

_Awakenstate09_

_Part Five_

_Jenny and Tina went to the bathroom at the same time. Jenny then got the key and locked the bathroom door. Tina gave her that look and turned around. "How did you get a key?" Tina asked and Jenny responded, "What key?" "We just got to talk." Jenny said and added, "Shane has Carmen and we're friends but you and I, we share something." "I'm not going to deny it." Tina said and Jenny responded, "Okay." Jenny remembered this same conversation with a certain foreign who used to be the owner of The Planet. "I mean, what are we going to do?" Tina asked and Jenny responded, "I don't have a fucking clue but…." Jenny walked over and looked down at Tina's crotch…"I just want you to know I respect you as a woman and I would never…" Jenny said and Tina responded, "Jenny, I was never the cheerleader, hated them." Jenny looked up and said, "Me too." They laughed and then shared a kiss…._

"_When was the last time you laugh?" Jenny asked…_

_**Tina remembered those words as she was putting down flowers at Jenny's grave, it was three years ago…**_

_Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face  
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away  
If only I knew what I know today, ooh, ooh_

I would hold you in my arms, I would take the pain away  
Thank you for all you've done, forgive all your mistakes  
There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again  
Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you  
For everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

"_**You will be happy to know that The girls has been re-named to Lez Girls, I just came from the studio and they are re-shooting the ending…." Tina said and then she turned around to see Niki Stevens there. Tina walked over to her and slapped her hard…. "You stayed away from my kid.." Tina said.**_

_**Author's note: **_

_**Oh the Re-write……….**_


	6. Chapter 6

_Hurt and Confused _

_By _

_Awakenstate09_

_Part Six _

_Bette told Tina that she's no longer her partner and as Tina woke up, she turned her head then saw Jenny smiling. "What are you smiling about?" Tina asked and Jenny responded, "Are you really in my bed, fully clothed?" Tina looked down and being fully clothed was something new to the decade long gay woman known as Tina Kennard. "Angelica is sleeping in the other room." Tina said and Jenny responded, "We're here in the coldest place in the world and we're not having sex." "I don't want to rush this; I want this to be different." Tina said and Jenny responded, "You know in the first weeks, all my boyfriends and girlfriends saw my pussy." Tina laughed at how bold that was and Jenny added, "I'm looking forward to you seeing the view." Tina smiled again and they kissed again, Tina stroke her face and Jenny responded by saying, "I have to pee." Jenny jumped out of bed and after she got out of the bathroom, she got dressed and then she saw a present. She opened it and saw a tape recorder with a set of pencils and a notebook. She saw a set of Mini-tapes. She accidently hit play…_

"_**Hey crazy, it's me beautiful and I want to say that I want you to record your thoughts. I want you to write it down. You don't bullshit Jenny and I expect you never to do that. It makes me want to……Bye hun." Jenny closed it and she smiled softly because Tina actually thought of the gift to give her. **_


	7. Chapter 7

_Hurt and Confused _

_By _

_Awakenstate09_

_Part Seven_

_Jenny was sitting there watching Tina with Bette as they were snow-sliding pulling Angelica and laughing. As a French writer was talking to her, Jenny paused for a second and Tina wasn't someone who was beaten down by a woman to be nothing but a lackey, she wasn't hot for Shane or wanting to be a man. Tina was a double survivor, she survived losing the love of her life and then being raped as a young adult then having hate-sex with Bette. Tina was a apart of something and not just part of a couple but another mother with a child. Jenny continues to write…._

_**Three years later, Angelica was looking over a stroller as Alice and Tasha was minding over the children. "Tina was supposed to be here soon." Alice said and Tasha responded, "Give her break Al." "It's just Jenny pisses me off and she stole my treatment, I would never want her dead." "I would never kill over any woman except you." Tasha said and Alice smiled at that. Angelica looked up and wave as Jenny's ghost wave at her…Canada had the best memories….**_


	8. Chapter 8

_Hurt and Confused _

_By_

_Awakenstate09_

_Part Eight_

_Tina followed a series of clues and after the bachelorette party went outside to see a bunch of different candles and it was leading to Jenny with snow-boots and a jacket on then behind her was a tent…Tina knew this was a Jenny original. "What are you doing?" Tina asked and her mouth was opened. "I want to show you my pussy." Jenny said and Tina was going to object but this took a lot of time and planning. "Now don't worry, I talked to someone and told me that no Mounties come around here. It's winter and there's no animals, I'm sure there's no serial killers here, Shane is getting married and I don't think she has any exes." Jenny said and Tina laughed a little….Tina walked to her and said, "What are you doing talking, crazy?" "I'm waiting for you beautiful." Jenny said and they gave each other a small kiss then it turned into something more. They went into the tent and they left four hours later.."Excuse me ladies, have you heard of a disturbance back there?" The mountie asked and both of them shook their heads no. "There was a couple of women back there having sex in the snow." Jenny said and Tina responded, "I know, I mean children could walk in and be scarred by such things, they should have a tent." Jenny gave that, __**you're going to tip him off look. **__They quickly walked away. _

_The following morning Tina was talking to Jenny an actually asked her about advice concerning Bette. "Tina, I think Bette has a point, you did look to get pregnant together and I think it would be fuck up if you didn't go on through with the adoption." Jenny said and added, "I just…" She noticed Tina got a fax and the blonde was pissed. Jenny took the papers and read them__**…."Bette Porter believes that Tina Kennard's lover is emotionally unstable and wouldn't be a good role model for Angelica."**__ Jenny said and Tina was blown away. "You are not that." Tina said and Jenny just walked away…_


	9. Chapter 9

_Hurt and Confused _

_By_

_Awakenstate09_

_Part Nine_

_Jenny was in her world and Tina walked in. "I'm going to let Bette do this." Tina said and Jenny responded, "Come on Tina, I cut myself and I was a little…" "No!" Tina said and added, "So what? Have I ever cared about it?" "No." Jenny said and Tina took another approach as she walked to her. "I don't want to give you up." Tina said and Jenny responded, "Why?" "We came to the party late." Tina said and added, "Everyone knew who they would except for Dana, we didn't. We had to be shown what we liked. Me and you, it came hard for us and I didn't see that when I first met you. Remember when I took you to…."Tina paused and Jenny had her head. _

"_Remember when I took you to the hospital, my mother took me there and she said that if I don't get rid of this accusation that I was making, she was going to leave me there. I was so fuck up and so I just follow her lead. I follow Bette's lead, I was a follower and with you I don't feel like that." Tina said and Jenny responded, "Yeah I know, I love you Tina." "I love you too Jenny." Tina said and they kiss a couple of times…."I'm going to take care of Bette, you come to the wedding and be my date." Tina said and added, "I want you to look beautiful as you do or come naked and be who you are. I will take care of Bette." "If you have to fight for Angelica, I think I will wear a dress." Jenny said and they both laughed. _


	10. Chapter 10

_Hurt and Confused _

_By_

_Awakenstate09_

_Part Ten_

_Carmen and Shane had gotten married. Tina didn't say a word and was holding Jenny's hand through the whole thing has the reception happened. Jenny requested a song and walked back to Tina…It was Nickel back and Saving me…..Jenny knew that one thing they disagreed on was music taste, she knew that Tina was a closet fan of some pop songs and groups….Nickel back being one of them…_

_**Prison gates won't open up for me  
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'  
Oh, I reach for you  
Well I'm terrified of these four walls  
These iron bars can't hold my soul in  
All I need is you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And oh I scream for you  
Hurry I'm fallin'**_

_**[CHORUS]  
Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me**_

_Tina and Bette had gotten into it. Tina didn't threaten a custody battle and Bette let her have it about the lives they would going to share and Tina said, "Fuck you! Remember the last time I said that and you fucking ripped my dress off. I bit you in the face and I should have just beaten the shit out of you. I should have just moved far away because the last time someone ripped my dress, they raped me." Bette said stunned and Tina responded, "So I went along again and I never forgot that night. Jenny makes me feel safe unlike you." Tina walked away and Bette didn't know…Carmen, Alice and Helena walked behind her with Jenny right beside Tina…._

_**Three years later….**_

_Tina was sitting there at the planet, Kit walked over with water. "What my sister did was so….." Kit said and added, "She didn't think about you and I know your heart is so…" "How can you still be nice to me?" Tina asked and Kit responded, "You are family." They hugged and Carmen walked in with Shane in tow. "How are you?" Tina asked and Shane responded, "Angry as hell." Carmen knew that the last week has been hard and being together for many months soon to be a year made her proud to still be with Shane. Alice and Tasha came in as well. "Angelica and Christy are in the back playing." Kit said and she left. Tina cried again and she cried even harder. They would all around her and Helena walked in to see this….Helena had someone on the inside on speed dial….._


	11. Chapter 11

_Hurt and Confused_

_By _

_Awakenstate09_

_Part 11_

_Tina had just gotten the baby from Bette after being kidnapped and Jenny just made her presence know as Tina had a lot of thinking to do about Bette and her as well. Jenny had done the interview with _Stacey Merkin. _Tina knew the website, her and Jenny had kept in close contact as Tina was trying to figure shit out. Jenny had to run an errand and was stuck in traffic, a surprise she had for Tina. Tina saw the review and saw how unflattering to say the least and she knew that Jenny will freak when she sees this. So Tina called Carmen trying for Shane, Carmen open the page and saw the interview._

"_Guys she's going to freak out." Tina said and Carmen responded, "What can we do?" "Buy some time so I could get there." Tina said and they close the computer. "Well, Jenny called she said she was stuck in traffic and it might be a while."Tina drove as fast as she could, the work was done for today and then she arrived at Jenny's house. Angelica was with Angus and then there was a….."Fuck you Stacy Merkin, fuck you." Jenny yelled through the door and then Tina knocked. Jenny opened the door to see Tina, "Come in." Jenny said and Tina walked in. "I was calling you." Tina said and Jenny responded, "I swear I would like to beat the shit out of her." "You want to take a ride." Tina said and smiled. Tina then stop to pick up someone and he had a suitcase. They walked to Stacy's place of business and Tina said, "Hi, I would like to speak to Stacy Merkin about the ridiculous review she made about my girlfriend." As the secretary was denying there request, Stacy came out and saw the camera…._

_As Tina talked to her, Tina told her that Jenny's book was review so wrong. She thought that review was too personal like she wanted to discredit the validity of Jenny's book. Stacy then tried to back it up what she had said, Tina smiled because Stacy didn't do that, she didn't it in a roundabout way and as the Camera shine. "You're going to take down the review and offered a formal apology expressing that you judge the book to harshly or I show this." Tina said and Stacy agreed to those terms. Tina and Jenny walked out as the cameraman was driven home. Jenny looked at Tina and said, "Thank you." "I don't know what magic you do to me, I like this person." Tina said. _


	12. Chapter 12

_Hurt And Confused_

_By_

_Awakenstate09_

_Part Twelve_

_Jenny sat Tina down and walked in. She put a banner on the doorway and said, "TINA APPERICATION NIGHT." Tina smiled then walk to Jenny and Tina responded, "Tina Appreciation night." "It appears that if you are brave enough to have a relationship with me this long, you must love me. I think about tomorrow now with you." She holds Tina and then she did just that, she stripped Tina naked then rub oil on her to give her a massage. Jenny would talk dirty to her because she knows that's what Tina like. Jenny would feed her grapes and gives her kisses at the same time. Jenny then made her way down her legs and there was a lot of fingering. Tina wanted to return the favor. "You do nothing, that's on Jenny Appreciation night, which is next week.." Jenny said and Tina laughed then there was a phone call…"Jenny gesture for her and Tina got it, she found out that Angelica was sick…She told Jenny, Jenny then said in a whisper to get the fuck out of here and told her she loved her. Jenny had no doubts of Tina…A trip to the doctor's and it was found out she had a slight fever. Tina decided to stay the night and then made sure Jenny knew at one O'clock in the morning but woke up Jenny to a line of swears and then that was it. _

"_I'll stay here…" Tina said and Bette responded, "You don't have to…" "She still our daughter, she needs to know we're here for here both of us even if we're not together anymore." Tina said and all Bette could do was nod…..As Jenny was stopping herself from walking over there Shane saw this. "You could go over there." Shane said and Jenny responded, "I'm going to stay right here and I want to go over Shane but Tina needs to watch over her daughter. She came first and then it was me. I'm the lover and I know that….I really want to go over there, I mean…." The phone rings and it was Jenny's cell. "Hello. Come over. Okay." Jenny said and then looked at Shane, "I'm going over." Jenny left_


	13. Chapter 13

_Hurt And Confused_

_By _

_Awakenstate09_

_Part Thirteen_

_Jenny walked in as Jodi opened the door. "Oh thank God." Jenny said and Jodi gave her a hug. Jenny looked around and Jodi asked if she was okay. Jenny assured she was and Jodi responded, "Tina is with angelica." Jodi said and Jenny walked to the room. She knocked on the door quietly and Jenny wave her hand then motion that she will wait outside. Tina walked in and Jenny responded with a wide eyed look. "Is she okay?" Jenny asked and Tina shook her head then as Jodi was outside. "Bette came on to me and I told her to fuck off, she went running. I also know that you saw it." Tina said and Jenny paused then said, "I'm sorry." "You have to trust me Jenny." Tina said and Jenny responded, "I trust you, I believe in you and no one else around you who has fuck or a connection with, I trust Alice because I don't know if she knows what she does. Carmen loves Shane and Helena is a…..Jodi is fine but Bette…" Tina turns to Angelica and walks to Jenny, "I love you and I love her, Angelica…Notice I didn't say Bette." Tina said and Jenny responded, "Noted." _


End file.
